In modern day psychology if a person says “I just feel so worthless, I feel like a very bad person” they are quickly sent to a psychologist. The psychologist then gets paid to assure them with a concerned tone that they are not a bad person, that their flaws are probably imaginary, that they are not worthless and they deserve a place on this planet.
To contemplate your flaws is a taboo. We don’t speak about it. We are urged not to do it. We are urged to instead, contemplate on our virtues.
But…
This is a blog post about making your life better.
If you want to make your life more beautiful, more cozy, more successful, more productive, more meaningful, more balanced, more organized, more fun and just generally more awesome – it ain’t going to happen over night.
For the sake of simplicity I am going to use the word “better” to encompass all of those attributes (beautiful, cozy, successful, productive etc.) So, how do you make your life better?
By making improvements.
By making improvements, you upgrade your life. You level up. Improvements must be made consistently, and you must put in a sustained and focused effort.
Today,we are going to organize your improvements, and carefully craft a plan for taking action. It isn’t good feeling “I really need to make some changes in my life!” but having no idea where to start. Today, we are going to figure out where to start. And tomorrow, you start.
This is a post I’ve been meaning to publish for a long time as it is a personal one for me. It’s something I am putting my focus on at this point in my life. It’s all about developing a strong sense of self. When I think of a strong sense of self, I think of emotional maturity. I see it as a strong beam of light from within me – instead of a flickering flame. Over the course of a few posts I will explore 10 truths of having and maintaining a strong sense of self. In this post I want to describe each one briefly, and in the following ones I will go into some other ones in depth with specific things we can do to achieve them! Wow, haven’t I got so much fun lined up for you 
What we need to develop is a strong sense of self. A powerful inner strength that resounds from somewhere deep within you.
You have a strong sense of self when:
We all go through times in our life that can only be described as challenging.
And though our experiences are wonderfully unique (uniquely beautiful, uniquely difficult, uniquely strange, uniquely f***** up) I notice a common thread between all of us, that connect us all.
While there is a 16 year old bright eyed girl mourning the end of her first real love, there is the wall-street business man who just lost the father who taught him everything he knows. There is the newly single mama who has to work two shifts just to provide for her child, there is the awkward intern who walks into the boardroom and feels like he walked into his high school cafeteria all over again, there are people who are falling in love with the wrong people, or the right people at the wrong time, there is the abused woman who has been his for so long that she doesn’t remember a life before him, there is the homosexual boy with parents who deeply and painfully believe their son’s life is the manifestation of sin.
There are best friends who stop talking, lovers who stopped loving,
There are break ups, break downs, and break throughs.
No matter how colourful and unique our life challenges are, there are usually certain aspects that seem to manifest itself into each one we have.
Sometimes just being able to identify the different “ingredients” in your challenge is enough to not feel so overwhelmed.
Because underneath the uncomfortable changes that are happening, there are golden lessons for us to learn and new doors to be opened, and an opportunity for love, growth and happiness that is greater than anything we have experienced before.
This month we will be creating a habit. This month’s habit is the clean habit. Every well-set-up area of a lifestyle stems from a habit. Keeping a clean home? A habit. Working hard at school? A habit. Physical fitness? A habit.
It doesn’t take very long before you realize that in order to maintain any kind of “goodness” in your life, we must turn it into a habit.
We must do them continually and consistently, editing them constantly to find the most time, energy and cost efficient way of maintaining them.
Habits take time to form. They don’t happen over night. The best kind of Super Habit is built over time in small increments. Baby steps.
The game goes like this; this month we are going to make maintaining a clean household our priority. Every day, we will make sure this priority is fulfilled.
We will we do this every single day from the first of September until the first of October.
After the allotted time, we can decide if this is a habit that you would like to keep in your life – in which case you continue, or if this is a habit you rather do without.
Regardless, we will put in the time.
Pick a challenge buddy (someone who can share in this process with you). I will be your challenge buddy by default anyway! Write out your 10 commandments real pretty. Stick them up somewhere you’re going to look. Make a checklist. Be excited.
Here are the guidelines for this months challenge!
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Intention: To create and maintain a clean and organized living space.
Duration: September 1st – October 1st
Remember, if you are doing all this right, these commandments will not take a lot of time or energy – just a little bit more effort at certain times in your day/week. Why is this? Because we are learning to the habit to maintain cleanliness. We are not cleaning a big messy home every day, we are cleaning it once, and then maintaining it.
You may already be doing some of these things commandments already, that’s great! Just keep doing them every day, and add the new ones into your daily routine as well.
Number 9 may not be applicable to those who do not have their own homes, such as myself, but I can use that time to make sure things in our living room and kitchen are up to standard.
It is very easy to forget these commandments so print it out and stick it on your wall. Remind yourself of them every day. You can even have a checklist to check off as you complete each daily task. Some tasks may not be necessary to do every single day, depending on the structure, size and nature of your household.
I will be starting this from September 1st which is when I move into my new house. I hope you will too. Let me know! Ya’ll have 6 more days of being messy and careless. Use them wisely.
i kid, i kid.
1. Overcome a fear. Nothing sets a standard of success quite like doing something you never thought you could do.
2. Create an exercise schedule. Get that beautiful body of yours moving. Join a dance class, yoga class, pole dancing class, a circuit training group, or the gym. Start going on morning runs. Create a tailor made exercise schedule that gets you excited and paves the path to the body of your dreams.
3. Cultivate new, richer and deeper relationships: Make new friends. Make it your intention to try to meet as many new people as possible. It might feel a little “ugh!” at first, but after you get in the rhythm of it, it will become a part of your day, lifestyle, character – that you really enjoy look forward to! I try to sit next to people I don’t know in my lectures so that I can get to know who they are and make new friends. And I’m not talking about making a bunch of meaningless acquaintances (your life is busy enough already), but I mean really getting to know a person – who they are, what they do, what they want, what makes their heart beat faster. When you start connecting with all individuals on this level, you seem to generate a bottomless supply of love and compassion to share with all those you come into contact with.
4. Set goals for yourself. Don’t tell me you’ve already set goals for yourself at the start of the year. Goals MUST be reviewed or else they become non-existent. Did you know that a goal that has not been thought about/reviewed in over 3 days, is equivalent to have never having set that goal? That’s crazy! Have a very short compact list of your short term goals with you to review every single night (Should take about 20 seconds out of your night), and spend a little bit more time for a bigger long term and short term goal review every week (Should take about 2 minutes).
5. Spend less time on the internet. Spend less time doing the things that take away a lot of your time and energy without you realizing it.
6. Wake up earlier than you usually do. I recommend 5:00am. Make more time for yourself.
7. Implement a new habit. Meditation, yoga, clean-as-you-go, prioritization etc. What would you pick? (See: http://malavikasuresh.wordpress.com/2010/08/01/10-habits-you-need-to-cultivate-in-your-life/ for more ideas!)
8. Write a letter to your future self. This activity is one that has been a totally awakening experience for me. I write a letter to myself every new year/birthday. I also really take the time to meditate on and with my future self to find out who that awesome lady is and what changes I have to make to become her with the most ease and grace.
9. Redecorate/recreate your spiritual space. Feng-shui up your crib. Change things around. Switch things up. Keep it exciting. The shift in physical energy will result in a tremendous breath of breath air through your life.
10. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until you find a time that suits you. This is not so that you can get more sleep, but so that you have the opportunity to do so if you wish. The main reason behind going to bed 15 minutes earlier is that you can begin to create more time to wind down, and get some more “me-time” going on in your day. Take this time to relax, meditate, journal, paint your nails, eat a snack, be in silence, practice some yoga, do a quick clean, or simply just “Quieten” down your busy household. If you have a family, you could make this into a fun game or challenge, where everyone has to try their very hardest to make the deadline of 9:45pm (or whatever time you guys decide), and from 9:45 time it is strictly RELAX time. Avoid being on the phone/on the internet/watching TV after this time, to really give your mind a chance to quieten down. (I really struggle with this one…!)
