Rules for Ladies

                                                                                                 Source: galadarling.com via Malavika on Pinterest

I was really inspired after reading Rules for my unborn son which is a tumblr blog dedicated to a father’s words of wisdom to his (unborn) son. The rules embody and epitomize the general art of being a gentleman – from strength of character, “manly” skills . etiquette, chivalry, and relationships. The rules celebrate the traditional role of a man – which is something I really appreciate. Feeling totally inspired after I found a plethora of related resources for men (like The art of manliness) I decided I needed to start scavenging for something that is more appropriate for myself – a woman. I was quite disappointed with the results. The resources for women is few and far apart. The ones they do have for women, to me seem watered down and kind of lame; wishy-washy, airy-fairy things like “Stay strong because you’re worth it.” and “Never give up.”

So I decided to compile a list of my own. Of course, I browsed through Rules of Ladies and Rules for my Unborn Son, and selected the ones I considered of value, and I have included SOME of them in this collective list. I must give credit where it is due.

If you can think of any additions, send them along my way and I will add them to the list!

This is my list of qualities I value in a woman, and embracing my feminine role. This list may not be for everybody, and these days, both women and men have different (and sometimes conflicting) ideas of what the role of a woman should represent. Therefore, there may be things here that you do not necessarily agree with, or areas of womanhood that you feel were not addressed to the fullness it deserves.

I guess this is more of a personal list. This is what I aspire to be. I hope I can get there one day!

  1. Don’t worry about a woman who is more beautiful than you, worry about the one who is more interesting than you.
  2. It’s better to be right, than first. It’s best to be both.
  3. Match your underwear as often as you can.
  4. Stand up to greet someone.
  5. Always greet guests at the door, and see them to the door.
  6. Always leave your husband at the door.
  7. Make the first few minutes with your husband positive. Don’t nag.
  8. Learn how to make your loved ones favourite dishes.
  9. Try it without sarcasm.
  10. Know when your husband likes to have his coffee.
  11. Keep your home clean. It is your responsibility.
  12. Accept compliments with a smile.
  13. Never brag.
  14. You’re rarely too busy to welcome your husband home with a kiss and a hug.
  15. Every day, no matter how you feel, get up and get dressed.
  16. Be optimistic. It’s attractive.
  17. If you need to cancel plans, do it by phone.
  18. Remember important dates.
  19. Save sentimental momentos.
  20. Love the one you’re with.
  21. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  22. Don’t gossip.
  23. Stretch. Be flexible.
  24. Wear heels.
  25. Read.
  26. Know what’s happening in the world.
  27. Maintain friendships.
  28. Whenever you visit someone, bring a gift.
  29. Invest in a great handbag.
  30. If you aren’t hungry enough to eat an apple, you’re not hungry enough.
  31. If you have to ask yourself if you’re hungry or not at the fridge, you’re not.
  32. Use your high thread count sheets.
  33. Take care of your things.
  34. When a man buys you flowers, take the time to smell them.
  35. After writing an angry e-mail, read it over carefully, and then delete it.
  36. Welcome new neighbours.
  37. Don’t make a scene.
  38. Don’t yell.
  39. Don’t cuss.
  40. Have a schedule.
  41. Dress modestly.
  42. Greet others warmly.
  43. Be polite, refined and well spoken.
  44. You can’t be friends with everyone.
  45. Don’t talk about your exes.
  46. Remember peoples names.
  47. If he does not have a chance, tell him.
  48. Be ferociously loyal to your man.
  49. Never stop flirting with your husband.
  50. Don’t be afraid of getting dirty when you have to.
  51. Be punctual.
  52. When asked for a suggestion, don’t be afraid to give your opinion. Don’t be indecisive.
  53. Don’t lend money unless you’re willing to write it off.
  54. Get haircuts often.
  55. Know how to do a few hairstyles.
  56. You don’t need to pout your lips like a duck to pose for a picture. Never do it. There is never a right time to do it. It never looks good.
  57. Know when to ignore the camera.
  58. Have conversations with children.
  59. Be subtle. He noticed you.
  60. Understand your life. Where you’ve come from, what lessons you’ve learned, and why you are who you are today. It’s your job, and not someone elses to figure out.
  61. Play an instrument.
  62. Have a talent that you can surprise people with.
  63. Take photographs and make an album.
  64. Keep a garden.
  65. Make your husband’s lunch. Leave a love note inside.
  66. Learn to dance.
  67. You don’t need a “Pictures of Me” album on facebook.
  68. Bake.
  69. Trust until you are given a reason not to.
  70. Once you’ve made your point, stop talking.
  71. When you can, pick you own vegetables and fruit.
  72. Do things with your children.
  73. Always offer guests something to eat or drink.
  74. Write down your goals.
  75. Read before bed.
  76. Make friends with everyone you meet on a weekly basis (grocery store cashiers, coffee shop baristas, people you meet on your morning run).
  77. Know how to drive.
  78. Don’t boast about projects in progress. Celebrate their completion.
  79. Never boo.
  80. Be comfortable on your own.
  81. Pay back loans quickly. It’s your responsibility to return money you owe before someone has to remind you.
  82. Know how to speak in public.
  83. Be a great listener.
  84. Sit at the front of the classroom.
  85. You cannot control your feelings but you can control your behaviour.
  86. Listen to the feeling that says “this isn’t quite right”.
  87. Circulate at parties.
  88. Learn how to pack light.
  89. Take care of your skin.
  90. Don’t argue with your husband in front of friends.
  91. When going on a date, have enough money to pay for at least your meal.
  92. Be easily pleased.
  93. Leggings are not pants.
  94. Don’t air your dirty laundry.
  95. Photograph those you love.
  96. Sometimes, go out without make up.
  97. Never call anybody ugly.
  98. Have a routine.
  99. Be completely self sufficient.
  100. Know how to fix things around the house.
  101. Know when it is time to leave, time to let go, time to be quiet.
  102. Wear dresses
  103. Become a mother.
  104. Make plans and follow through on them.
  105. Be the kind of woman that makes things happen.
  106. Wax.
  107. In conversation, focus on the other person.
  108. Know how to cook 10 dishes very well.
  109. Don’t be a high-maintenance friend. Life is busy.
  110. Travel. Go on adventures.
  111. When in another country, it is only polite to greet people in that language.
  112. Be able to take care of yourself and like the way you take care of yourself before you become a mother.
  113. Work.
  114. Meditate.
  115. Always carry a pen and paper in your handbag.
  116. Spa days.
  117. Have one collection that you love and can display in just one place in your home.
  118. Don’t be picky about food.
  119. Carry wet wipes in your handbag.
  120. Never criticise your partner in front of his friends. Or anybody for that matter.

Happy May!

Have you thought about your weekly life themes, goals, and habits for this month? Today would be the best day to do it.

With love,

(A more positive) Malavika

13 thoughts on “Rules for Ladies

  1. Laura says:

    I had a good giggle at some of those, especially: 56.You don’t need to pout your lips like a duck to pose for a picture. Never do it. There is never a right time to do it. It never looks good. 😀 😀
    (and yet I’ll probably still do it, for the lols of course 😛
    Bu other ones were v serious and good.

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  2. Sarah says:

    I’m not so big on gender stereotyping… Wax? Am I not beautiful enough in my natural form.? It’s my responsibility to clean the house for the rest of my life and have babies? No thanks… While some of these ‘rules’ are good common sense and manners, I don’t like being told to do certain things (circulate at parties) to be deemed acceptable to society. Sorry If I seem over-sensitive but this is the only thing in a long time I have seen that has offended me.

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    • Malavika says:

      Hi Sarah. I understand where you are coming from and I definitely expected many women to feel this way. As I mentioned in the beginning, this is a list of values I hold abut my role as a woman. This is what I want to be like, this is how I would like to live my life. I know many woman feel it isn’t important for them to clean their home, to become a mother, to cook for their family, wax etc, and they instead have other things that are of a higher priority. That’s why I mentioned at the top of the post that the ideas of what the role of a woman is varying and at times conflicting (As it is in our case). Some women will read this list and feel totally inspired, and others will read it and be like “WTF”. I think that’s natural. So, in the end, I will try to live my life as the woman I want to be, and you will do the same.

      I am sorry that you were offended.

      Thank you for your comment, it was very valuable to me 🙂

      Malavika

      Like

  3. realmofinfo says:

    Good list. It’s strange to think no one’s really done this before.

    Would you mind explaining number 24 to me (high heels one)? Because as much as I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to understand girls’ like for high heels!

    I think I might re-blog this post actually… 🙂

    Like

  4. ukashe says:

    thanks for the list M! while I agree that all of these won’t make my personal list, it was great to be reminded of some of them… wear heels, don’t criticize your partner in front of others, get dressed everyday – even for yourself, accept compliments with a smile.

    thanks!

    Like

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