So…I have been distracted with the new Facebook page I created for this blog. It’s a nice change from blogging, with shorter more frequent posts. More photographs and visuals. More personal. I wish I was better at this social media stuff, but I guess I can start here.
Today I am writing about something that is very much rooted in my own self-reflection; a pattern of complacency and tendency for mediocrity that I have noticed in myself. This blog post may be more of a rambling than anything else. Perhaps something more for my diary, than for my blog. But here it is anyway.
Enjoying the process vs trying to get somewhere
We’re told different things about the best way to approach something we do. One piece of advice we are given is that we’re told we should “enjoy the process,” and to not be attached to the fruits of our labour.
Well, that makes sense, I think.
A labour of love. To work for simply the joy of working. To enjoy every step in the process. Whatever may come from it, is just a big beautiful bonus.
I think for almost everything in my life, this is the mindset I have had.
For example, I write this blog because I truly enjoy to write. I used to write when nobody read it, and now I continue to write when a small crowd of you read my writings. Every comment, every e-mail, every piece of positive feedback I have received from you is an unexpected blessing to me, and it encourages me.
And yet, if every single one of you stopped reading my blog, and stopped reaching out to me about it, I would still write anyway. It’s just something inside me. It’s how I process life, and I couldn’t stop that from happening.
But lately, I have been contemplating the difference between doing something to enjoy the process of it, and doing something with a burning desire that I need to get something out of it.
Sometimes, I feel that focusing only on enjoying the process, has kept me trapped in mediocrity. I want to have something to show for the effort I put into my life. And so, I need to try a new way of approaching things, because I’ve done it the same way for too long, and I feel like something is missing.
A senseless waste of time
If I went to the gym every day, and after a few months, I check my progress, and I haven’t made any or I have gotten worse, then I know that something needs to change.
I might enjoy certain exercises, I might enjoy running, or resistance training. But I don’t do it because I enjoy it. I do it because I want to get somewhere. I want my body to get to a certain state. If I enjoy the process, that is wonderful. But that isn’t why I go to the gym.
It doesn’t make sense for me to keep doing something in such a way that I don’t get anywhere with it. What’s the point? It feels like a waste of my time.
This is the case for so many things in life. Are the things I’m doing making me a better person in some way? Am I growing? Am I changing in the right ways? Am I opening up? Am I improving as an individual? Am I happier? Am I kinder? Am I helping more people?
Or am I doing the same old things every day and getting the same results? Am I just wasting my time and your time?
A lukewarm life
Everything I have done in my life is lukewarm. I rarely do anything with intensity inside me.
Everything I do is average; School, writing, yoga, spirituality, music, art, cooking & crafting.
I take everything to a certain level, and plateau in the sea of mediocrity. I never cross the threshold of what is comfortable. I never cross into the unknown, into the deep waters of possibility.
And I want to.
Lately I have been trying things a different way. I have been trying to do the things I love, but with a sense of urgency.
With a sense of “Life is short. I don’t know how much time I have, but I know it isn’t much. I need to make something of this, I need something to happen, I need to get somewhere.”
Enlightenment. I don’t want to have to wait for 500 lifetimes, or even the next lifetime. I want to know now. I have so many unanswered questions. I want to live in truth. And I want it now, in this life.
I want to transform myself. I don’t want to live a half-life. I want to live a full life.
Mediocrity and my full potential
I don’t want to live trapped in mediocrity.
And I’m not talking about mediocrity in regards to other people and how they are doing.
I’m talking about the difference between what I do, and what I could do.
About how I do what I do, and how I could do it.
About who I am and who I could be.
I’m talking about how much of my full potential am I actually operating at?
Taking things to the next level
So, how do I plan to do this?
First, ask myself where do I want to go?
I want look at the things I love to do, and decide where I want to take them. And if I don’t know exactly that would look like, at the very least, I will decide that I must get somewhere other than where I am and where I have been,
Take the next step
This means either stepping out of my comfort zone, practicing more, learning more, making a real attempt at improving what I do.
Doing what I can do with more intensity, more heart, more soul.
Life is short. Let’s get somewhere.