Mia’s birth story

I love this part of the story. It’s my favourite part.

For most people, the best part of pregnancy is having a baby. For me, it was going labour and birthing my daughter. For me, the best part of pregnancy was the pain. It’s a morbid and sad thing to realize, but I have not known it any other way.

I don’t know what it is to give birth to a baby who is alive and who I can bring home and watch her grow up. But I know what it is to give birth to my daughter. And it was the most beautiful experience of my life.

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The short bright life of my daughter

17269052_10154205077655964_1503068230_oThis is the the hardest story that I am living, and the most difficult one to write about.

I knew I wanted to share this part of my pregnancy with you too, because it is real and true  and heartbreaking and a part of my life that I cannot ignore or deny.

But I am conscious that it is not only my story to tell. It is also my husband’s story, and his comfort is mine and his pain is also mine. So it is only with his permission that I share this with you today.

We had to say goodbye to our sweet baby girl at 6 months of pregnancy.

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Cravings of the soul

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When was the last time you really craved something? And what was it?

Ice cream? At 12am?

For most of us our cravings live and die in the realm of food.

But what about a spiritual yearning? A craving for intense expansion and vibrancy in life? Does it come as intensely, as frequently, or even as naturally as when we crave a particular food?

And if not, why not?

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Valentines Day

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People like us,

we don’t need that much

just someone who starts,

starts the fire in the our

bonfire heart.

–  Bonfire Heart by James Blunt

We couldn’t do much to celebrate our anniversary in December because literally everything made me nauseated. I wanted to share a post with you all on our anniversary dedicated to my husband, and here it is now – better late than never.

Usually for valentines day, I prefer to make a small, hand made gift for my love. But this year, I went all out. This is what not having a job will do to you. I literally dedicated my entire day (and some) to making his valentines day experience. I sent some of these photos to my sister in law and she said “Omg, this is so extra.” and I thought – yes, this is absolutely, unmistakably “extra”.

(She also introduced me to this word a few weeks ago. She keeps us cool.)

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4 small steps to changing your life

 

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1. It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it

When I think about changing my life, I would think of all the different things I would rather be doing with my time. I think to myself; “to change my life, I need to change what I do, because what I do makes up so much of my day and my life.”

But, I have come to understand maybe that it is not necessarily what I do, maybe it’s how I do it.

The first step is just so easy. Keep doing what you always do, but put all your energy and intensity into how you do it.

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The power of Rudraksh

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Since mid last year I have had my heart set on finding an authentic rudraksha mala. And finally, I have found one and it has found me! Thank you to my husband, who gifted it to me from the Isha Shoppe, after sathsang last saturday.

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I am a Mother of the world: Spirituality in pregnancy

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Mother of the world

In September I attended Isha’s Inner Engineering program. During the course, a concept that really permeated deep into me was realizing that I have the capacity within me to be a mother to all beings of this world. This was weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. I am a mother of the world. A mother is creation and nurturing. A mother is your biggest cheerleader, she believes endlessly in your goodness, a mother picks you up and puts you together again when you are broken in a heap on the floor.

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The warm glow of new life + First trimester update!

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My dear friends and readers,

I have the most wonderful news to share with you. We are having a baby!

2 glorious lines

A home away from home

A few years ago, I used to share photographs each month of the life that has happened in that time. Somewhere along the line, I decided to stop sharing so many personal things about me.

But lately, I have had a change of heart. The stories of my life is the unique path I take to my own liberation. My own journey to bliss. And for me, that is something worth sharing.

Any one can read a text book on spirituality. In fact, there are blogs out there that serve as much better and more reliable sources of spiritual knowledge, than my writings. And if that was what people wanted to read, they would undoubtedly find them instead. So I don’t think that’s why you read my blog. And quite honestly, that isn’t why I write my blog, either.

Anyway, I digress.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post on being more open with you. And that is something I still wish to do. So, Today, I share with you all the life that has happened since I went back to my parents home in BC for the last 10 days.

There is something wrong with my SLR ( 😦 ), so these photographs were taken with my cell phone.

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Leaving Toronto. 6am flight.

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How I try to live beautifully in this moment

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This moment is the only moment of our life. The past is a memory, the future is our imagination. We must live deeply in this moment, live with intensity and make this moment as beautiful as it can be. When we live life with this moment-by-moment awareness, there is no doubt that everything will change for the better.

“Live in the moment” is something that we often hear, and yet sometimes, it runs the risk of being too conceptual – leaving us not really knowing how to make that happen.

But this is something that feels increasingly important to me, increasingly vital to my happiness.

You see, how you do anything is how you do everything. How you live in this moment is how you live your life. We have to make it the absolute best it can be.

We cannot know what will happen tomorrow, we cannot even know for sure what will happen in the next moment. We can make plans, but we can never know for sure. I have come to realize that the only way to live happily and in the best way, is to make the best of this moment – because that will put you in the best position for the next moment. Life is connected that way.

But I needed a real way to experience it. I needed real guidelines that I could follow to increase my awareness, mindfulness and perception in my day-to-day life.

So, I keep three things in mind, before beginning any new task during my day – and I would like to share them with you today.

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